Also, because I'm trying to get back to a healthy way of eating and exercise:
Ht 5'5 - SW 136 - *GW1 130* - GW2 125 - GW3 120 - UGW 115
My mistrust [of men] is not, as one might expect, primarily a result of the violent acts done on my body, nor the vicious humiliations done to my dignity. It is, instead, born of the multitude of mundane betrayals that mark my every relationship with a man—the casual rape joke, the use of a female slur, the careless demonization of the feminine in everyday conversation, the accusations of overreaction, the eye rolling and exasperated sighs in response to polite requests to please not use misogynist epithets in my presence.
I do not understand myself lately. Only recently have I decided that I eventually want to have kids (I’ve been debating whether this is something I want for the last 5ish years). I get sick, get completely terrified that I’m pregnant, stress myself the fuck out to the point of being sick to my stomach, making me confused on whether I’m having morning sickness…….and then when I finally get my period I feel really sad and defeated. Nothing in me was excited about the potential of being pregnant, until I wasn’t. Now I don’t know if it’s that so many people around me are pregnant or I was imaging how happy my husband’s family would be when they found out I was pregnant or what is making me sad about this. Prior to getting sick, the thought of getting pregnant terrified me and I knew I wanted to wait at least 2-3 more years before even thinking about trying……and now I feel like I’m mourning a loss.
Lately I’ve wanted some alone time because my husband is always home and today when he told me he didn’t have band practice tonight I was disappointed because I wanted a night to myself….now I found out he’s busy the whole weekend and we won’t have time together and I want to cry because I feel so lonely. Wtf is wrong with me. I never get hormonal with my period. Why do I feel so sad and defeated and horrible when things are going literally how I think I want them to?
You are not clingy, or needy, or silly for having needs for affection and affirmation and attention within a romantic relationship. Those needs aren’t an embarrassing outgrowth of your low-self esteem or depression or whatever messy emotional issues you may have going on, that’s just basic shit that people need from each other. We of course should not make our partners responsible for meeting all of our emotional needs – it’s not someone’s else’s job to make you happy. But inside a healthy relationship, being able to show affection, pay attention, and demonstrate “you are amazing and important to me” is a pleasure, not some task or burden.
In all these changes in life, I still only want one thing - to feel wanted.
No, you can’t deny women their basic rights and pretend it’s about your ‘religious freedom.’ If you don’t like birth control, don’t use it. Religious freedom doesn’t mean you can force others to live by your own beliefs.
I feel like being a men’s rights activist is like having the common cold and being pissed off that there’s charity and foundations for different cancers or serious illnesses, but nothing to find a cure for your cold.
Picture yourself when you were five. In fact, dig out a photo of little you at that time and tape it to your mirror. How would you treat her, love her, feed her? How would you nurture her if you were the mother of little you? I bet you would protect her fiercely while giving her space to spread her itty-bitty wings. She’d get naps, healthy food, imagination time, and adventures into the wild. If playground bullies hurt her feelings, you’d hug her tears away and give her perspective. When tantrums or meltdowns turned her into a poltergeist, you’d demand a loving time-out in the naughty chair. From this day forward I want you to extend that same compassion to your adult self.
It is obvious that the two offenders saw the victim as some one that could be treated as a thing. This is not about sex, it is about power and control. I guess that is what I am getting at. Sex was probably not the hardest thing for the two to get, so that wasn’t the objective. When you hear the jokes being made during the crime, it is the purest contempt.
So, how do you fix that? I’m just shooting rubber bands at the night sky but here are a few ideas: Put women’s studies in high school the curriculum from war heroes to politicians, writers, speakers, activists, revolutionaries and let young people understand that women have been kicking ass in high threat conditions for ages and they are worthy of respect.
Total sex ed in school. Learn how it all works. Learn what the definition of statutory rape is and that it is rape, that date rape is rape, that rape is rape.
In the spirit of equal time, sites like Huffington Post should have sections for male anatomy hanging out instead of just the idiotic celebrity “side boob” and “nip slip” camera ops. I have no idea what that would be like to have a camera in my face at every turn, looking for “the” shot. I know what some of you are saying. “Then why do they wear clothes like that unless they want those photos taken?” I don’t know what to tell ya. Perhaps just don’t take the fuckin picture? Evolve? I don’t know.